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the ceremony
"Ok, let's keep those fake smiles plastered on!"
"Ok, hold those smiles a little longer!"
"Oh, the hell with it."
"If one more
person steps on my train, I'll show them how demure and delicate
I am as I put my foot so far up their .
. ."
"Okay, so there are five groomsmen
- one's married, one's taken, and one's a kid.
There are five bridesmaids - one's married, but four are single.
There are ten eligible beautiful female guests here too.
There are only four competing male guests that aren't devoutly religious,
gay or married.
If I carry the one, divide by the amount of cologne I'm wearing, and
add forty for the reciprocal beer goggle effect, it equals
I'm getting lucky tonight!"